The DragonBall Z Show: Goku's Replacement
by Redneck-Buddhist
Summary: Here is a parody of the Cell games. Rated R just for da helluvit.


The DragonBall Z Show: Goku's Replacement  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ or Dr. Slump... but I do own a Blue Oyster Cult DVD and I guess that's a good start... right?  
  
SETUP: Um, the Cell Games have started and Goku's about to forfeit. That's about it as far as a setup goes.  
  
Cell walked into his favorite restaurant and hung his jacket up.  
  
"HEY CELL!" all his friends exclaimed. As they all gathered around him and treated him like he was the life of the party, he said to himself, "Ahh, having friends is fun!"  
  
Then, all of a sudden, he heard Goku's voice saying, "I give up, Cell! You win! I can't beat you!"  
  
Cell then awoke from his daydream and said, "Huh? What? Oh! Really? Umm, cool!"  
  
"Listen, Cell," continued Goku, "Just because I forfeited, that doesn't mean I won't be sending in a replacement."  
  
Cell suddenly had a brainstorm and answered Goku with, "Well (Kuririn) I (Kuririn) don't (Kuririn) have (Kuririn) a (Kuririn) problem (Kuririn) with (Kuririn) that (Kuririn)!"  
  
"Good!" said Goku. "Now then, Cell... prepare to fight..."  
  
"I know he's gonna do it," sighed Kuririn, "I just know he's gonna do it! We can all see it coming 5 million miles away!"  
  
"...Kuririn!"  
  
"I knew it," sighed Kuririn as he flew towards Cell, knowing that if he didn't comply Goku would kick his ass.  
  
"You can do it, Kuririn! I believe in you!"  
  
50 seconds later...  
  
"Hmm. Y'know, I think he tricked me into sending Kuririn in," Goku said to his team as they all just frowned at him (especially Piccolo, Gohan, Vegeta, and Trunks).  
  
"Alright, Cell, this time you're getting a real opponent!"  
  
"Okay (Chaozu), go (Chaozu) right (Chaozu) ahead (Chaozu)!"  
  
"Ah-ha-HA! You're not gonna trick me this time, Cell! Now, prepare to fight... Chaozu!"  
  
20 minutes later...  
  
"Grrr, damn that Cell! So far he's killed Kuririn, Chaozu, Umigami, Bulma, Lunch, Oolong, Chi Chi, 8-Man, Bora, Upa, Karin-samma, Dr. Briefs, Mr. Satan, Tenshinhan, Yamcha, Yajirobi, the Tenkaichi Budokai announcer, Arale, The Gatchans, Obokaman, Tur-tun, Akane, Taro, Senbee, Turbo, Suppaman, and Toriyama-sensei! We're losing our best men!" Goku retorted while Piccolo, Gohan, Vegeta, and Trunks frowned at him.  
  
"Okay, Cell! Here comes your next opponent!"  
  
"Well (Vegeta), I (Vegeta)... GASP!" Cell covered his mouth in order to stop him from saying more after he realized that he had just fucked up!  
  
"Ah-ha-HA! You're not gonna trick me this time! Cell, prepare to fight... Vegeta!"  
  
Vegeta laughed maniacally as he started up the biggest-ass Big Band Attack you've ever seen. But before he could use it, Goku forced his arm down saying, "No, wait. Hold your fire! He tricked me again!"  
  
"WHAT!?" screamed an outraged Vegeta.  
  
"Oh, thank you, Kame!" said a relieved Cell.  
  
"Alright! Cell, prepare to fight... Cell!"  
  
Everybody looked at Goku with confusion.  
  
"Well, go ahead, you two, fight," said Goku.  
  
Cell didn't know what else to do but slap himself in the face. So he did.  
  
"No, no! Let's see some real fighting; with punches and stuff," ordered Goku.  
  
Cell whimpered as he balled up his fist and then proceeded to beat the shit outta himself.  
  
As Cell's self-onslaught went on, Piccolo said, "My Kame, he's actually doing it! He's dumber than Goku!"  
  
"Maybe he's just retarded," added Trunks.  
  
"Do I look fat in spandex? I do, don't I?" said Vegeta.  
  
"Um, guys, I think he's dead," Gohan pointed out.  
  
"WHAT!?" shouted Goku, "Aw, damn! Now even Cell has fallen to Cell! Well, I guess there's only one option left." Goku then pulled out a sword and walked up to the barely alive android. When Cell finally was able to get on his knees, he saw Goku holding the sword like a baseball bat.  
  
Goku then went Super Sayain and said, "TONIGHT, INSECT... YOU SLEEP IN HELL!!!" Then he sliced Cell's head off.  
  
THEND  
  
And there ya have it. I didn't mean to rip off Highlander in the end, but... well... 


End file.
